Monday, November 1, 2010

The Ardbeg Supernova 2010 (3 cl MoM* mini)

Tasting notes:
The physical instantiations of the Malt Impostor serve as an Oasis of Calm from the freneticism of the rigors of life, and I was sure that the Ardbeg Supernova would prove superior to a Champagne Supernova (in the sky).  Little did I dream of what was in store for me, beginning with a nose like Pinocchio's when he was a liar: woody, long, shapely, and vaguely smacking of the charms and barnyards of the Old World.  A swirl in the tasting glass revealed a bazillion (note: not a technical term from mathematics) legs; truly, it beaded up like amber bindis, and partitioned the elegant swell of my glass like a Riemann sum, with δ rapidly converging to 0. (Note: these are technical math terms.  Emergency exits are conveniently located in your browser toolbar.  Thank you for flying Air Impostor.)

     Back to the nose: It's a massive banyan tree pumping briny sap through it, roots digging deep in the dank dark earth. In the mouth, the anise flavor is what a permafrost licorice stick honed to an ice pick would do to your soft palate in the hands of a drunken soccer yob who'd eaten a jicama salad. If it's possible to imagine Tolkien's tree-shepherd Fangorn belching after an orgy of sambuca and Longbottom leaf tobacco, then welcome to the taste sensations in the Supernova. Gandalf preserve us. 
     The finish is a record-setting 32-inning baseball game, and inspires discourse on a bizarro-world Hegelian Phenolmenology of Spirits. My spirit is the starstuff that will one epoch become planets--I contain worlds--I contain multitudes--though I am not Legion. My lips are numbed and unsealed.

On the scale of world-shattering revelations (literally)—
The Ardbeg Supernova is the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  Seriously, is there a cooler, more cataclysmic way to begin the ending of earthly life? A neutrino storm sounds depressing, and the implacable increase of entropy is for the neurotic.

*--Master of Malt  
(in this case, the Ardbeg Supernova 2010 (SN2010) 2nd release)

Check out other Master of Malt Drinks by the Dram here.


Joshua (Yossi) said...

The way in which you weaved in LOTR lore with science, non-science and nonsense into these great tasting notes is... farging brilliant. They perfect way to start my morning - thanks Bill!

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