Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Single Cask Nation Arran 12 (750 ml not a Pinot wine bottle)

Tasting notes:
     The Single Cask Nation Arran Pinot cask #4, abv 54.8% suffers from pinot envy. It's favorite Disney movie is Pinotcchio (but only if it had been reimagined as a gritty reboot helmed by a combination of Quentin Tarantino and Pixar). If it was a painting, it would be Dogs Playing Pinotchle. On the nose, it's a lemon tree hung with tinsel, sprigs of holly, threaded whortleberries, and peeled and unpeeled rambutan fruits that were floor-waxed by an overzealous visiting mother-in-law. Hints of jodhpurs worn by a Rajasthan spice baron during polo matches. (It wasn't Sir Pratap Singh, but that's an excellent guess on your part!)

    The mouth is so different than the nose that it's a Picasso cubist effort sprung to glorious 3D life. It's rich and disjunctively out-of-place, kind of like the Beverly Jewbillies drinking mint jewleps and cherry jewbilees. It explodes on the mouth like [redacted]! It's smooth and creamy, balanced and redolent of promises for the future, like a suddenly reformed con man wooing an enchanting young woman in a 1950s Broadway musical (working title) A Rare Moon in JeJune. It's winey in all the right ways: not like a uxorious beta male husband begging for [redacted to maltgonewild.com], nor like a whiny brat, nor an athlete whining for a call: It's winey like wine that's infiltrated whisky, proposed larkish escapades, and yet somehow improved national security...like the opposite of Paula Broadwell's dalliance with General Petraeus. The mouth is like MacallanGoneWild, ruby lips from a Shakespeare sonnet, and holograms of the EEGs of a devoted couple, still passionately in love, celebrating their 12th anniversary. I want to become a genie so I can live in my half-empty glass. (And the glass is half-empty, because the glass is sad that it's half-empty, weeping tears of malt down the side.)
     The finish is long and meaningful, like a one-night stand between a biblical scholar and an Easter European gymnastics coach blossoming into a torrid affair spanning decades. Perhaps "blossom" is too organic and gentle; rather the finish erupts like an active stratovolcano, carving a caldera of creative destruction, new topographies OF THE SENSES.



Rating:
--On the scale of characters in the Simpsons--
The Single Cask Nation Arran Pinot cask #4, abv 54.8%, is Ned Flanders--Okely-dokely doo! Wait, what? How'd that get there? Let's try again: 

--On the scale of world-shaking new outlets for poetry--
The Single Cask Nation Arran Pinot cask #4, abv 54.8%, is Christian Bök encoding the stanza of a poem into the DNA of an extremophile bacterium--It's poetry! It's life! It's a hybrid! It's new! It's unkillable (almost)! It's amazing.



This review has been approved for use by Golda Meir.

[John: Bill! Do you mean "Golda Meir approved this review," or that "Golda Meir is approved to use this review"? In either case, she's long since deceased!]
    

I would have used Sarah Silverman instead of Golda Meir, but she was f*@#ing Matt Damon. 


  
 
                                                                            --Bill





--Our thanks to Joshua Hatton for the sample!  Stay tuned for reviews of more Single Cask Nation bottlings!   


To get your hands on your own bottles, visit singlecasknation.com 

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